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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
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6:25 pm
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whatever.
life sucks.
150 pages of reading a night.
i am going to have to eat ALOT of carrots.
wait, did i mention life sucks yet? cause it does.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006
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1:53 am
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life is way too confusing.
while graduation looms before me, relief and the urge to throw up overcome me.
this is if i graduate...seeing as how i have 32 novels to read, ~500 pages of a 1000 page criticism book, and about 12 papers...do i need to take all this...no...why do i...i think i am addicted to learning...
I'm floundering.
She don't want nobody home
Cause it's a little too crowded then
But she don't want to be alone
So they just keep pouring in
-- counting crows
current mood:  indescribable
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 10th, 2005
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3:02 pm - the good the bad..and i guess the ugly
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The good: Kelley got me a football signed by John Deraney for Christmas...pretty much like the most perfect thing anyone could ever get me.
Pretty made my day yesterday as I showed it to everyone.
The bad: I am an idiot and I slept through my Literature GRE this morning. yes that would be the test I have been stressing out about and studying for...last night i was like im not gonna stress anymore...did a few practice problems...set my alarm...went to bed..woke up at 1030...the test started at 830..i suck...$130 down the drain. I had to take that test.
The ugly: Due to this...i cant apply to duke or texas anymore...tahts right...pretty much my dream school and the school with the best program wont even consider my application. i am a loser.
i will most likely be at NCSU next year. I really want to apply to Hunter College now, but I am afraid to tell my professors i slept through it, let alone ask them to do more work.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 1st, 2005
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11:03 am - I almost got killed by a christmas tree
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True story you guys and journal worthy.
Sunday, Abby, Anna, and I went to Home Depot to get a Christmas Tree to begin our holiday festivities. First there is no one there to help us so we have to unwrap the tree by hand. It was like a damn maze! So we open it up, and it is a beautiful tree that we promptly claim and name "Douglas." Then, the guy at Home Depot ties it to the top of Abby's Chevy Tracker. Now, the tying job doesnt look awesome, but we dont know what it should look like so we kept our mouths shut. Then, off we go...Abby and Anna in one car and me following them. So I call my neighbor Jason to ask for his assistance in helping us unload the tree off the roof and maybe carry it upstairs. He agrees to help and I hang up the phone. When I look up, Douglas is flying off of Abby's roof and is pretty much about to land on me. I freak out, scream, slam on my breaks, and swerve into the other lane. We are on Highland so there is literally no where to go...I swerve back and then pull over and see the tree half in the middle of the right lane on highland. I get out of my car and pull the tree to safety. Five cars of people stop to help, but I dont know what to do because Abby and Anna kept going. They turned around and came back though and we are all cracking up. One guy carries the tree across the street and another offers us some rope to tie it back up, but we refuse the tying...instead, we put it in the back of abby's car. THe whole tree one fit though. So we roll down the window and stick the trunk of the tree out...and finally get the door closed. Douglas was unharmed and now sits beautifully in our living room decked out in blue and silver.
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(comment on this)
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11:00 am
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| You Are an Appletini | 
Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy.
But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal. |
haha..this thing just called me a makeout slut!
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 4th, 2005
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2:24 am - found a kitten!
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I found this really cute kitten...techincally one of my neighbors did but they are moving out tomorrow and cant keep it...im letting it sleep inside my apt tonight but im going to have to put her outside tomorrow...shes really sweet...been curled up in my lap sleeping for a couple of hours now...she wont get out of my lap...she chased me to the door when i tried to leave without her nad she waited in the laundry room with me while i got my clothes...shes a sweetheart but i dont think i can have her cause i havent asked my roommates and my parents just bought my brother a puppy...a golden retriever...so if anyone would take her please let me know...shes gonna be outside for the next few days if she doesnt run away...she cant stay here every night sadly...
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
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12:17 am - a sad annoucement
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though many of you never met her, she was the best thing in the world
she is my cat...maggie the cat...and she passed away today. I will miss her greatly because she is the best cat i could have ever asked for. my family loved her dearly and we are very sad to see her go. I still remember when i got her...she was soo skinny cause she had been abandoned...my brother went outside and she came right to him then she came inside and nestled in my lap...she just wanted to be loved (and fed of course)...and she never had a shortage of love at our house...she was the center of attention...
maggie...you were very loved and still are...and no pet will ever be as great as you were...sigh...im gonna go cry.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 7th, 2005
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9:02 pm
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Yeah, i totally hit on my teacher the other day on accident. I really have to be more careful when I speak.
"Sorry, I am not trying to grope you" STUPID!
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 24th, 2005
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1:44 pm - drum roll please.
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The official graduate schools application list:
1. University of Michigan
2. Duke University
3. University of California, Irvine
4. University of California, Los Angeles
5. University of Texas, Austin
6. New York University
in random order of course...
Duke is probably a long shot.
UCLA, UCI and NYU are maybe.
Michigan is no idea.
UT Austin is most likely...
nothing is really a safety school I guess.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 10th, 2005
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12:06 am
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Ive been thinking.
Europe trip. This summer.
Italy.
Austria
Spain.
Germany.
England.
Scotland.
COME WITH ME!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 9th, 2005
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10:07 pm - 68 burning questions you have had about me...ANSWERED!
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1. Name: Melissa
2. If there were 3 wells (love, beauty, and creativity) and you could only drink from one of them, which one would you choose? Creativity since my writing is pretty forced lately, but then shouldnt creativity be natural, and isnt it cheating and all a big lie...shit.
3. Do you wish on stars? No i never really see any
4. Which finger is your favorite? my right pinkie cause I injuried it on a fish bowl and it needs some lovin'.
5. What is the most disgusting food you've ever eaten? beef baby food. oh and spinach baby food....not when i was a baby...last semester.
6. Would you kill someone? In self defense sure.
7. When did you last cry? yesterday for no reason at all.
8. If you were making a movie about yourself, who would play the lead? umm rachel mcadams i guess shes cool.
9. What TV show or movie TITLE best describes your life? What the Flip.
10. Do you like your handwriting? sometimes
11. Who are you jealous of? people who have it all figured out...and kirsten dunst cause she got to sex it up with ole jakey gyllenhaal.
12. What is your #1 priority in life? finding a #1 priority....eh work i guess
13. What is your favorite lunch meat? turkey
14. Do you have any bad habits? procrastination and biting my nails
15. Are you a friendly person? I think I am about as friendly as they come.
16. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself? Probably not, i would think i was a freaking retard.
17. Are you a daredevil? nah, thats ben affleck.
18. How big was the biggest mango you ever had? as big as my left boob.
19. Have you ever told a secret that you swore you wouldn't repeat? most likely. I suck.
20. What do you think is the most attractive animated character? some guy in this sneaker ad...i was disappointed he wasnt real.
21. Do looks matter? Initially.
22. Do you pray? no, my jesus freak brother bible pushes and prays enough for all of us. Seriously, the rest of you can stop praying Wesley has got it covered.
23. Have you ever met any1 famous? Dale Earnhardt Jr.
24. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Nah, but i really hope there are leprechans. *crosses fingers* Midgets rule!!
25. What are your biggest fears? Spiders, Dying alone, FAILURE
26. What do you do to vent anger? Cry.....ALOT.
27. Are you passive or aggressive? about what things? I dont know...i guess a bit of both...whatever im in the mood for GOSH!
28. Who is your idol? this year, it was that Carrie girl I guess...seriously i love sylvia plath bitches.
29. Who is your second family? The Carter's were my NC family. All my Phi Sigma Pi Brothers.
30. Do you trust others easily? Sadly yes. I gave a woman 5 bucks yesterday cause shes said she needed gas...she probably bought crack.
31. What was your favorite toy as a child? glo-worms and see and say
32. What class in school do you think is totally useless? I think they all have some use...the one I hate the most...intro to philosophy cause my teacher sucked (sorry Karynne)
33. What is the punch-line to your favorite joke? "no no you dont eat white people" (daniel tosh joke)
34. Do you like sappy love songs? NOTHING COMPARES...TO YOU! HELL YES!
35. Do you think your life so far has been good? sure.
36. Which was your best Halloween costume? Partly cloudy with a chance of rain.
37. Have you ever been on radio or television? I read my poetry on KLSU.
38. Do you keep a diary? yep...keeps me sane.
39. Have you ever intentionally hurt another person? not physically, emotionally yes cause I suck...but they did the same to me damn it.
41. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? nope.
42. Are you an overall happy person? HA. No.
43. Do you feel understood most of the time? Yeah, I dont think I say things or do things how I wish I could...Im always misunderstood by boys!
44. Do you drink milk? Hell NO! who the fuck decided to drink liquid from a cows teat? that kind of behavior has a name and is illegal. (milkshakes are good though)
45. Would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach? Sore Throat cause I am addicted to that spray stuff...Chloroseptic.
46. Have you ever thought seriously about committing suicide? ...Ive thought about how I would do it...no definative way decided though.
47. What is the new saying that you've been using a lot? I know right and oh snap...
48. What time is it? 10:26 pm
49. Do you keep your underwear and socks in the same drawer or in separate ones? I dont even have a chest of drawers...But I keep them in the same plastic storage thing.
50. Did you pay money to see "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"? If I did see it in theaters, my dad paid.
51. Would you rather be hot or cold? Hot, you can take clothes off...cold makes me uncomfortable and I dont cope.
52. What is your favorite body type to cuddle with? a strong boy...i have specific names, but they are being withheld.
53. What was the best Christmas present you received? PLANE TICKETS TO NC!!!
54. Could you be a vegetarian? Yep, and I am debating it.
55. What is ur favorite word to say when u think of something cool? Cool...cause that makes logical sense.
56. What band has the funniest name? The Hives...reminds me of an allergic reaction. and I agree with Jameson's response of Squirrel Nut Zippers...and who was that band singing about doing it like mammals?
57. Would you ever bungee jump? YES PLEASE!
58. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? You cant untie flip-flops
59. Who are your favorite white rappers? VANILLA ICE...and as far as white wrappers...i like the one around my fudgescicles.
60. Would you rather wear uniforms to school? not really...itchy.
61. Have you ever given money to a needy person? Yes. I almost accidently gave him a $100 dollar bill. I also gave one some cake. Also, is it wrong to ask them for change if all you have is a $10 and want to give the $5?
62. What are you worried about right now? Nothing...school is over...i guess grad school worries me. also making enough money...ok now im fucking stressed.
63. Do you ever wear overalls? AHAHA NO, despite what others think we do in LA.
64. Do you think you are strong (emotionally)? No, everything makes me cry. This survey tears me up.
66. Do you hate anyone? I am working on that.
67. Do you regret anything? Yep, I regret letting others have such an effect on me and making me feel worthless sometimes.
68. Have you ever been in love? eh.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 6th, 2005
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1:15 am
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You're Brigitte Bardot!
What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"
June
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite andsoft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easilyhurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
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1:06 am
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| Saturday, June 4th, 2005
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10:18 pm - yay im in the right field.
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Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 7th, 2005
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3:20 pm - For all my peeps
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I dont update this thing very much anymore, but some of you, I fear, may think i have taken ill due to a lack of participation in the livejournal community. I assure you this is not the case. I have, however, been very busy doing many things which include, but are not limited to:
1) attending parties which require pantslessness (1 time)
2) writing papers and then losing them via a crashed computer (about 3 times)
3) drooling over my hot professors (about a gazillion times)
4) trying to discover the reason boys such so much (not much research but gained a testimonial on thier suckageness)
5) making up words
6) being a crazy kid and rolling with KT BRO my #1 homie-pie.
that should satisfy the need to know my worldly participations.
In all seriousness, boys do suck. if you have a girlfriend, dont call me! Phi Sigma Pi rocks my socks off, it is why I wear flip flops. school is nearly out for the summer if i can make it past 3 finals...
I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
melissa
current mood:  creative
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
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10:05 pm
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i apparently never update so per request.
Life is fine.
I take it one day at a time.
friends are all i really need.
I miss north carolina like no one would believe.
I love everyone, but I think I am ready to move again.
Graduation is nearing, 24 hours left, and i am terrified.
I have lost all the ability to write creatively I once had.
I am sure I still have it, but I just dont know that I can do it anymore.
I have no idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life besides try to just keep living.
I think that is the best anyone can do.
did i mention, I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 21st, 2005
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3:38 pm - in and out of love
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So, I am in love with my new American Literature teacher. He, however, is married. It's cool though. Unrequited love is poetic.
Classes seem...eh...i could take or leave most of them. we shall see how it goes.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
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2:54 am
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Some people...i just dont understand despite how hard i try...
i dont know why people have to be so confusing...make up your mind...if you have one.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, January 10th, 2005
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3:56 am - i cant take my mind off of you.
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I enjoyed NC so much. It was a much needed trip. I got to see all the people I miss.
When i got on the plane, i felt this immediate sadness. It is like i told my mother. I know north carolina will always be there, I can always visit, but everytime I leave I have no idea when I am going back. It wasnt the same as when I left LA...i knew I would always be back. But, NC is like a second home that I have no idea when I can get back too.
Ive felt this deep sadness the past few days. I guess it started in NC, I dont remember. It hit me on the plane and I nearly cried in sheer lonliness and sadness. I don't know why. I just feel so confused about certian things and certian emotions that I cant read nor can i make them readable to others, i suppose. On the plane, I was over come with this feeling. i didnt care where the plane went. I didnt care if it went home. I didnt care if he went anywhere. I dont know why I am so sad. it makes no sense. I know people love me. I just think I need to be shaken, looked in the eye and told I love you. By someone who isnt obligated to love me.
I have no idea what is going on, but I know all my emotions are jumbled and boys are such a source of frustration in my life.
I take bullshit I shouldnt. I feel emotions I shouldnt. I allow myself to get walked on. I dont ask for clarification.
Sometimes I dont know if I care. I know i need some clarity because everything is foggy and nothing makes sense.
Im going to bed. I can make believe I dont exist there.
current mood:  morose
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| Friday, December 24th, 2004
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1:49 am - The Boy Saga
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Boys. Boys. Boys. I think I have an addiction.
The one I am "seeing" right now is really nice and sweet. He opens all doors for me, he holds my hand, he pays for everything, and tries nothing on me...at the end of the night he hugs me and kisses me and leaves. he is hot and has a real job...but...he cant call me during the week or he just doesnt because he has police academy stuff...soo is it bad that i go out with other guys and kiss other guys during the week or on weekends when he isnt around. he is awesome, and if he didnt have police academy, things may be different...but I cant just wait around for a guy to call me all weekend and go out with me once every 2 weeks. but I feel bad with other guys...dang him for being so cute and so nice. and this will be going on for 6 more months...i just wish he were funnier or talked more with me. Boys.
Oh well...i leave for NC on Monday and wont see any LA boys for 2 weeks. YAY NC!!
merry xmas people.
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